He said, “We need to talk, right now. I need to know how you feel about me, about our current relationship status.” She replied, “Right now is not a good time.” He retorted, “Why?” She smiled. It was a sad smile. Then after a pause she answered, “Because I am drunk… And the drunk me is terrible at keeping her inhibitions intact… The drunk me is also terrible at lying. Honesty and abandoned inhibitions are the two things I definitely don’t need around you. Drinking strips me off the things that keep me in check. If I talk to you now, I will say everything I should not… I am already saying everything I should not. I will tell you how much I love you. That, sweetie, is dangerous… for you, and more importantly for me. That is something you need not know. Not now, not ever.”
“Why did you overreact? Why do you care so much? Why can’t you just press the “ignore” button in your head for people who don’t deserve that attention? Why?” he asked her. Before she could say anything, tears started rolling down her face. Stupid as she was, she was still thinking about how she could get the situation back in control and make up for her slight emotional outburst. That was her problem. “Extreme” was her middle name. She did not know any other way when it was love, family or friendship… and thankfully so. After a long pause, she wiped off her tears and asked a simple question, “How come people don’t find it an “overreaction” when my extremity is in their favour? The problem is not that I go “all in” for everyone important to me. The problem is that my “people magnet” keeps attracting the wrong kind of crowd. Ya, that is where the problem lies. Extreme is how I love to live. And extreme is how it is going to be!”
Just when she convinces herself that it is over, he does something crazy! Crazy enough to give it another try.
Just when she manages to chain him in a deep dark corner of her heart, he manages to escape. Escape and create a havoc in her heart and her life.
Just when she says to herself, “This is it!”… he comes out of nowhere and says, “Are you stupid? There is no “this is it” in our story!”
Just when she decides she has cried enough and there is no reason to deal with the intense pain his love brings her, he gives her another reason.
A hopeless romantic… That is what she was. And that, unfortunately, was her biggest problem! When in love, she loved to the point of madness… totally immersed in it… with all her heart and soul… with everything she had… with everything she did not… She, unfortunately, didn’t know any other way of loving.
Reading and loving a book recommended by a friend… Here a quote from the book: “Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without being lonely. But eventually it is best to find a person, that person will be your mirror. Remember, only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.”
Update from FB: Before I get I lost in another book, I could not resist wrapping up this thread with the fortieth rule of love or the final quote from the book (It is definitely one of those books that linger long after the final page. It has piqued my curiosity to know more/read more about Rumi and more importantly Shams Tabrizi.) – “A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western… Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water.”
I am sure none of us are sure about what love is :) But loved these lines from the article… So beautiful!
~ Love is something for which we will give up eternal life. The main character in the movie City of Angels, who gives up his wings in return for bodily sensation, and then loses his one and only beloved in a truck accident, says: “I would rather have tasted her lips just once, touched her skin, one time, and made love to her for one night, than spend the rest of my life without ever knowing that.” ~
I want to meet the moron who said nobody is indispensable. I need to tell him… Some people are!