“You have to try the herb once, it takes you places,” her friend told her. It did take her places. Places that were shattered, broken and full of excruciating pain.
I want magic. I want madness. I want “you”.
Her friend told her to write bravely. She wrote, “He said he loved me and I believed him. I loved him, I hope he loved me too… even if it was for a moment, I hope he loved me too… the way I loved him.”
She entered her room, it was unusually quiet and not in a good way. She loved her solitude, but not today. She went through her normal routine around home craving distraction. Never did she feel so completely alone. Then the phone rang. It was her friend.
“Don’t use repression as a coping mechanism, your behavior is unnatural,” her friend blasted in a concerned tone. “This act of being strong, stoic, calm and unbreakable isn’t fooling anyone.”
That was it. The realization of the pain ahead dawned on her. It was only going to get worse. She had asked him to disappear from her life for good. She was waiting for the “good” to show its face. The pain was unbearable. The harder she tried to conceal her volcanic emotions, the more they raged through her. Sobbing and wailing in all her brokenness, she kept repeating in her head this too shall pass.
And one more time she had to cry herself to sleep.
At the precise moment where she was giving her friend a piece of her mind about how impractical and unrealistic an all-consuming love is, the universe was laughing its wits out at her. How could she have ever known the universe had a plan and was in fact conspiring to uproot every idea she had instilled into her mind about the practicality of “love”? After all the heartbreak stories of people around her, she’d come to believe people only looked for a love of convenience and that true love existed only in her books. She was on the verge of being proven so wrong. There he was, the universe’s plan… As their eyes met, all she could hear was her pounding heart and the voice from her throbbing head that said, “There you go.”
Almost ten years ago, this dynamic, fun, unapologetic, explosive, brilliantly sharp and utterly fearless diva came into my life. I am so glad she did. She is someone who made me realise it is okay to say, “Screw you, world. This is what I am. And this is what I will be!” If anything has made me love her so much, it’s her attitude about staying true to yourself and knowing the right people will love you because of it. I love and respect her for being who she is.
Miss Mukherjee, I still remember all our late night chats; yes yes, with all the details :P Of course, I won’t/can’t share what we discussed but those conversations were fun for sure. Fun in true sense, fun to the core.
This conversation unveils the Urmi I know, it reveals the other side of her. The side not many people know I believe. The sensitive and emotional side of her. Beneath that tough exterior she puts on, lies a soft and mushy centre.
In this exclusive interview, Urmi Mukherjee (http://www.facebook.com/urmuk) talks candidly and a little fiercely about her crazy experiences, her bucket list, her first crush and a lot more. Read on…
- Give me a brief description about yourself.
I can never go brief (in description and otherwise LOL). I also have two sides to me, which one would you like me to introduce? The sober side of me is writing this. Drop by after dusk to see the other me :D I live life in extremes which of course creates serious imbalance and chaos but I don’t care and I love the drama! I thrive on family, friends and protection of nature and vulnerable elements. I am sleazily emotional in matters of the heart, but I remain unapologetic. It makes me what/who I am (good, bad or ugly). I reserve logic and willpower for worldly experiences and achievements. My motto is life dictates me to be true to my soul (irrespective of having to follow wrong over right; unethical over moral, sin over good and other such man made criterions of assessment), and I am notorious for being unpredictable, intense, stubborn, and a slave to my passions. I enjoy giving myself completely to everything I do – and that includes doing something as small as cleaning my bathroom or kitchen.
- Describe your Sundays.
If not sulking, brooding or working, I can be found cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and dishes, catching up with friends and volunteering at a local rehab centre.
- What music are you listening to at the moment?
Heart stops beating, Paul Van Dyk.
- What was the last film you saw?
A blue film (joke). The Fighter.
- What would be your dream holiday location and why?
Considering I love movement and change, my ultimate dream travel experience would see me explore every nook and corner of India through a couple months long expedition, living out of a backpack (which I have done on several occasions) and follow the local life (including customs, food, clothing, lodging, etc.) of that place for a couple days before I move on to the next destination.
- What is your favorite book? What was the last book you read?
I am a voracious reader and harbour interest in a wide array of topics including philosophy and biographies. I am currently reading The Litigators by John Grisham. The book is special because it was gifted to me by a stranger I bumped in to at London. He turned out to be a world renowned 28 year old Mathematician from Oxford, and I baffled him demanding we never stay in touch after that day. Haa haa (Blame it on my attraction towards the extraordinary!). He never found out my name, all I disclosed was my field of work (although he told me a great deal about himself not knowing what was coming). True to my wishes, we never spoke after that meet. He signed the book, “To a lovely crazy lady!”
- Tell me about your first crush.
I was 8, a nuisance and trouble maker in class, while he was the ideal role model student. I never did anything about it, but turns out, years later, he confessed I was his first crush too! Nothing ever happened, and we are great friends today.
- What’s a food treat for you? What foods do you detest?
Until a year ago, I ate everything and I mean everything. Today I appreciate healthier food choices, and I prefer fixing my own meals (let me boast a bit and mention the accolades my culinary skills have garnered over the years :P). I cannot resist Chinese cuisine. I detest sugary food.
- Do you have a bucket list?
Absolutely. I intend to own a sports car, live in a real house (not an apartment) with a vegetable patch and a little farm type set up with animals, adopt a daughter (I don’t care about marriage but soul mate I do care about), write columns, give out baking lessons, own a wellness centre, and partner up in a law firm.